I have always loved to take pictures. I used to borrow all of my aunts cameras. i've used camera's from very expensive digital professional lines to little 110 spy cameras. I also really liked the kodak disc and the 110 that had great exchangeable lenses. most of my photography was travel and documentary then, however through the years my style has honed in toward the tiny beautiful aspects of our world.
Photography has always been a valuable tool for me as is writing. Going on a photography hike is like taking a walk into a timewarp for me. I can go out into the world without a goal, other than to enjoy and document, and experience total serenity and peace.
It's also a manic dream. I can really get down and focus in on some of the things that God put here that most people never see throught their lives. I have to know, i constantly am looking for the next beautiful thing, and I have yet be disappointed.
I highly recommend this exercise not only for those of us who need therapy, but for everyone. Get out and see God's beauty. You can begin really cheap too. pretty much any camera with the exception of those crappy throw aways, is great. Even the sub $100 35 mm cameras these days are dreams compared to 5 years ago. to use a cliche that really fits this excercise, "It's not the camera, it's the artist." I definitely recommend going digital. Think about not having to buy expensive film ever again. Snap away...
Not only do i enjoy the atmosphere, I always end up getting at least a couple great shots for my gallery. check out some of my art at deviantart http://docscape.deviantart.com/.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Why do i help others?
Because i can. Because i think someone could use the things i've learned about my conditions in helping to treat their own. Also helping others really gives me more insight into myself. Everytime i explain my situation, i look at it with a critical and objective eye.
Bipolar disorder, Depression, and Addiction are very serious illnesses if left untreated. However, they are also the most treatable of all the mental illnesses. There is no reason you should have to suffer anymore.
first step is to see a doctor. If you can't afford the medications or the doctor, then you should talk to your local mental health services. the hospital can direct you to the right place. They can help. I know many who have got the help they need there are now lead happy and prosperous lives.
It's unfortunate that many people with these illness don't even realize there is a problem. We just think it's the way it is, or it's all in our head. It is, but if it's serious, it will never go away, and most definitely get worse without treatment. If you feel chronic depression or feel like you're crazy a lot of the time, then by all means get help.
If you know someone with one of these illnesses, or addiction, then you should go easy and explain to them that their behavior is not the "normal" behavior. You sense something seriously wrong. Push them in one of the directions of the many mental illness sites on the internet. I use http://www.dbsalliance.org/ all of the time.
I also use the various AA sites for addiction referrels. Most of them have links to meetings in their area. i know in my area there is http://www.aacentralohio.org/, or http://www.aa.org/ for national referrals. AA is a great place. You might one to go to one yourself even if you don't have an addiction. It can really shed some light on the subject. The AA program is the choice of many of the drug addicts i know. The various other 12 step programs tailored to their addiction, don't have the same fellowship that AA does.
Don't forget there's always http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ for those that have to deal with addicts.
Don't let the stigma of mental illnesses deter you. As more and more people are educated and treated, and start speaking out for others, this stigma is being lifted. It's ok to have a chemical imbalance. Many of us do, you know. Some of us refuse to live in fear and desperation our whole lives and use the resources that are available.
Bipolar disorder, Depression, and Addiction are very serious illnesses if left untreated. However, they are also the most treatable of all the mental illnesses. There is no reason you should have to suffer anymore.
first step is to see a doctor. If you can't afford the medications or the doctor, then you should talk to your local mental health services. the hospital can direct you to the right place. They can help. I know many who have got the help they need there are now lead happy and prosperous lives.
It's unfortunate that many people with these illness don't even realize there is a problem. We just think it's the way it is, or it's all in our head. It is, but if it's serious, it will never go away, and most definitely get worse without treatment. If you feel chronic depression or feel like you're crazy a lot of the time, then by all means get help.
If you know someone with one of these illnesses, or addiction, then you should go easy and explain to them that their behavior is not the "normal" behavior. You sense something seriously wrong. Push them in one of the directions of the many mental illness sites on the internet. I use http://www.dbsalliance.org/ all of the time.
I also use the various AA sites for addiction referrels. Most of them have links to meetings in their area. i know in my area there is http://www.aacentralohio.org/, or http://www.aa.org/ for national referrals. AA is a great place. You might one to go to one yourself even if you don't have an addiction. It can really shed some light on the subject. The AA program is the choice of many of the drug addicts i know. The various other 12 step programs tailored to their addiction, don't have the same fellowship that AA does.
Don't forget there's always http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ for those that have to deal with addicts.
Don't let the stigma of mental illnesses deter you. As more and more people are educated and treated, and start speaking out for others, this stigma is being lifted. It's ok to have a chemical imbalance. Many of us do, you know. Some of us refuse to live in fear and desperation our whole lives and use the resources that are available.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
arrogant manic
we manics believe that we are superhuman. somehow we have tapped into the next phase of human evolution. our minds can far outthink ordinary human minds. we brainstorm faster. we can be more productive. and we have an answer for everything. it even feels like sometimes we communicate telepathically. don't get me wrong, without my meds I can spin out of control, or so it seems to everyone around me. it's like they are in the matrix, and I am neo. sometimes their feeble little minds can be baffling. how can they not figure it out? surely they have to have some sense of their own naivity. anyway, I guess I'm just being arrogant manic.
Helping Someone with Bipolar Disorder or Addiction
This question comes up over and over again. What can we do to help someone, especially when they don't want it. Often times people with bipolar disorder are like those in the grips of a serious addiction and fail to see the trail of disaster they can cause around them, and most of the time, they think you are the one with the problem, not them.
Having been in both positions before; addiction, mania, and the recieving end, I have run up against many different problems like these. Solutions are hard to find. In fact, each situation really requires its own custom tailored solution. Trust me, there is no magic pill. So how can we help these loved ones?
Education about the problem is the most reliable weapon in the fight. Luckily there is lots of help in this arena. Finding someone who knows how to handle the situation is ultimitely the best, however those people are very difficult to find. A good start is AA meetings and bipolar support groups. You can find thousands of these people on line as well in support groups. These people have been there...
If you can't find someone, then you will have to educate yourself, which you should do even if you have help. Good places to start are The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA - http://www.dbsalliance.org/) and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI - http://www.nami.org/) and the National Institutes on Mental Health (NIMH - http://www.nimh.nih.gov/). I get tons of information from these sites that I refer people to to get help. Another site to help understand medications is Crazy Meds (http://www.crazymeds.us/). All of these are great reliable sources of information.
Here are some good things to keep in mind:
1) If the person is in the grips of an attack and you can get them to converse with you, talk to the person normally. Sending the wrong signal like anger, or preachiness can be very counterproductive.
2) Do not think this person is crazy. Remember that they don't really realize what they are doing. In fact they believe they are in the right. It's just sometimes they just don't see beyond themselves.
3) Do not encourage their grandious thoughts. Even though they have great ideas at the time, they will really have a hard time getting any of it accomplished until they come down. Encouraging someone can feed the fire rather than try to talk reason with it.
4) If you are unable to help, get someone who can. Either a friend, fellow addict or bipolar, or if necessary, even 911.
5) Do not take the threat of suicide lightly, and you must let that person know that you will not either. Even though some may use it as a weapon, most who say it, are perfectly capable of it, believe me.
6) Go find someone with the exact condition, but stable, that can help you understand. If you've never experienced this situation before, then you never will fully understand. Don't hesitate to ask. Most people are more than willing to help. In fact in my AA program, we must, it's a valuable tool to helping ourselves. Make sure that the person you enlist is stable though, or you may end up with double trouble.
If you still can't help yourself, then by all means contact me. I'll do what i can to help.
peace.
Having been in both positions before; addiction, mania, and the recieving end, I have run up against many different problems like these. Solutions are hard to find. In fact, each situation really requires its own custom tailored solution. Trust me, there is no magic pill. So how can we help these loved ones?
Education about the problem is the most reliable weapon in the fight. Luckily there is lots of help in this arena. Finding someone who knows how to handle the situation is ultimitely the best, however those people are very difficult to find. A good start is AA meetings and bipolar support groups. You can find thousands of these people on line as well in support groups. These people have been there...
If you can't find someone, then you will have to educate yourself, which you should do even if you have help. Good places to start are The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA - http://www.dbsalliance.org/) and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI - http://www.nami.org/) and the National Institutes on Mental Health (NIMH - http://www.nimh.nih.gov/). I get tons of information from these sites that I refer people to to get help. Another site to help understand medications is Crazy Meds (http://www.crazymeds.us/). All of these are great reliable sources of information.
Here are some good things to keep in mind:
1) If the person is in the grips of an attack and you can get them to converse with you, talk to the person normally. Sending the wrong signal like anger, or preachiness can be very counterproductive.
2) Do not think this person is crazy. Remember that they don't really realize what they are doing. In fact they believe they are in the right. It's just sometimes they just don't see beyond themselves.
3) Do not encourage their grandious thoughts. Even though they have great ideas at the time, they will really have a hard time getting any of it accomplished until they come down. Encouraging someone can feed the fire rather than try to talk reason with it.
4) If you are unable to help, get someone who can. Either a friend, fellow addict or bipolar, or if necessary, even 911.
5) Do not take the threat of suicide lightly, and you must let that person know that you will not either. Even though some may use it as a weapon, most who say it, are perfectly capable of it, believe me.
6) Go find someone with the exact condition, but stable, that can help you understand. If you've never experienced this situation before, then you never will fully understand. Don't hesitate to ask. Most people are more than willing to help. In fact in my AA program, we must, it's a valuable tool to helping ourselves. Make sure that the person you enlist is stable though, or you may end up with double trouble.
If you still can't help yourself, then by all means contact me. I'll do what i can to help.
peace.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
On living unmedicated and miserable...
Through my one of the members of the peer support group i started back in Nov of 2006, I learned of this poor girl who had to live her life, constantly in fear of society and the world, and feeling suicidal at times. Unfortunately, she is being unproperly medicated, and suffering needlessly, by one of those sub par doctors. There's tons of them. And being uneducated about your bipolar condition and not knowing that your doctor is shitty, sucks. I've been there before.
Not only have i seen my share of poorly treated patients, I too have been victim of extreme Mania and Depression, and not knowing that anything is wrong. I've tried cutting, burning, and strangulation before and luckily for me and everyone else who loved me, I didn't succeed. Actually, I never tried, I was only experimenting. That's what my clouded mind told me those days.
On the Mania side, I've acted out certain fantasies, like working for the Department of Homeland Security, aiding to search out hidden terrorism plots in our own country. Of course i didn't go out and shoot anyone, nor could I have, at least with out a lends attached to the front of it. I was a photographer. A photojournalist, really. I was diligently documenting vulnerabilities using my camera and voice recorder. Besides realistically, it was a good deal for everyone.
This girl was being treated with only Lithium. Lithium is probably the single best medications for treating serious mood swings, but it's only a stabilizer. Although, we all have different chemistries and certain meds work better for some than others, the simple fact remains that this girl was stabilized at an ultra low level. That low is Hell, literally.
Sucessful treatments consistantly show that bipolar disorder is treated with a variety of chemicals. Typically this regimine consists of at least a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant, but some stabilize the other way and the antideperssant triggers the other side of the swings, Mania. Mania, can be not only heaven, but terrifying as much as the Depression.
Now i'm not a psychiatrist, even though sometimes it seems i know more, when you get a family doctor or counseler without the proper medical training on the medical aspects brain chemistry prescribing meds. I've read my share of literature, deal with my share of patients, and participate in a several support groups other than mine. I'm sure that with the addition of an antidepressant this girl would have to suffer no longer, and could be free to live the beautiful life that a successful treatment affords.
Being bipolar is a wonderful thing, as long as we can keep those extremes down. Some of us even feel as though it gives us an edge on everyone else in the world. Let's face it, we think faster than others.
Peace out, my brothers and sisters...L8tr
Not only have i seen my share of poorly treated patients, I too have been victim of extreme Mania and Depression, and not knowing that anything is wrong. I've tried cutting, burning, and strangulation before and luckily for me and everyone else who loved me, I didn't succeed. Actually, I never tried, I was only experimenting. That's what my clouded mind told me those days.
On the Mania side, I've acted out certain fantasies, like working for the Department of Homeland Security, aiding to search out hidden terrorism plots in our own country. Of course i didn't go out and shoot anyone, nor could I have, at least with out a lends attached to the front of it. I was a photographer. A photojournalist, really. I was diligently documenting vulnerabilities using my camera and voice recorder. Besides realistically, it was a good deal for everyone.
This girl was being treated with only Lithium. Lithium is probably the single best medications for treating serious mood swings, but it's only a stabilizer. Although, we all have different chemistries and certain meds work better for some than others, the simple fact remains that this girl was stabilized at an ultra low level. That low is Hell, literally.
Sucessful treatments consistantly show that bipolar disorder is treated with a variety of chemicals. Typically this regimine consists of at least a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant, but some stabilize the other way and the antideperssant triggers the other side of the swings, Mania. Mania, can be not only heaven, but terrifying as much as the Depression.
Now i'm not a psychiatrist, even though sometimes it seems i know more, when you get a family doctor or counseler without the proper medical training on the medical aspects brain chemistry prescribing meds. I've read my share of literature, deal with my share of patients, and participate in a several support groups other than mine. I'm sure that with the addition of an antidepressant this girl would have to suffer no longer, and could be free to live the beautiful life that a successful treatment affords.
Being bipolar is a wonderful thing, as long as we can keep those extremes down. Some of us even feel as though it gives us an edge on everyone else in the world. Let's face it, we think faster than others.
Peace out, my brothers and sisters...L8tr
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