Sunday, December 07, 2008
Movie Review: Front of the Class
Stigmabusters had a great victory tonight. The Movie on CBS "Front of the Class" (http://www.classperformance.com/) was a great success. Although the movie didn't portray the vast number of issues that us with mental conditions deal with, it did accurately convey the incredible amount of stigma that we must overcome in order to "fit in" to society. Hats off to Brad Cohen and all those who overcome their issues. We need more education like this. One of the most powerful messages in the movie was that acceptance, both by those afflicted and those who are involved with someone afflicted, can make great things happen.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Ask the Docs Chat: Dr. Melvin G. McInnis
Genetics and Bipolar Disorder
May 28, 2008
2:00 p.m. Central Daylight Time
(3:00 p.m. Eastern, 1:00 p.m. Mountain, Noon Pacific)
» Click here to RSVP (it's FREE!)
Dr. Melvin G. McInnis
Join Melvin McInnis, MD, FRCPsych, to discuss cutting-edge topics relating to bipolar disorder and genetic testing. Dr McInnis is the Thomas B. and Nancy Upjohn Woodworth Professor of Bipolar Disorder and Depression, Professor of Psychiatry with the Department of Psychiatry and Depression Center at the University of Michigan.
Dr. McInnis is an established and internationally renowned researcher in the genetics of bipolar disorder. He has published widely in the field and is an active participant in one of the largest and longest-standing collaborations on the illness that began as the NIMH Genetics Initiative for Bipolar Disorder. This endeavor (known colloquially as the "G11") now consists of a collaboration among 11 universities within the U.S.A. and is dedicated to bipolar disorder genetics.
Dr. McInnis has a relatively rare combination of research and clinical experience. He has extensive laboratory leadership experience in a molecular genetics laboratory, as well as experience in genetic analyses and bioinformatics, and a published record of these accomplishments. He also is a recognized clinical expert in assessment and management of patients with complex mood disorders.
Listen to our DBSA Real Recovery Podcast featuring Dr. McInnis on the topic of "Genetics and Bipolar Disorder."
Submit a question for Dr. McInnis to address during the DBSA Ask the Doctor Chat featuring Dr. McInnis on May 28th. Please note, due to time restrictions, Dr. McInnis may not be able to answer all questions submitted, but will make every effort to try to address as many as possible. Thank you for your understanding and your participation!
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/R?i=uA8qWFdoKCVamTjzKXMo9Q
May 28, 2008
2:00 p.m. Central Daylight Time
(3:00 p.m. Eastern, 1:00 p.m. Mountain, Noon Pacific)
» Click here to RSVP (it's FREE!)
Dr. Melvin G. McInnis
Join Melvin McInnis, MD, FRCPsych, to discuss cutting-edge topics relating to bipolar disorder and genetic testing. Dr McInnis is the Thomas B. and Nancy Upjohn Woodworth Professor of Bipolar Disorder and Depression, Professor of Psychiatry with the Department of Psychiatry and Depression Center at the University of Michigan.
Dr. McInnis is an established and internationally renowned researcher in the genetics of bipolar disorder. He has published widely in the field and is an active participant in one of the largest and longest-standing collaborations on the illness that began as the NIMH Genetics Initiative for Bipolar Disorder. This endeavor (known colloquially as the "G11") now consists of a collaboration among 11 universities within the U.S.A. and is dedicated to bipolar disorder genetics.
Dr. McInnis has a relatively rare combination of research and clinical experience. He has extensive laboratory leadership experience in a molecular genetics laboratory, as well as experience in genetic analyses and bioinformatics, and a published record of these accomplishments. He also is a recognized clinical expert in assessment and management of patients with complex mood disorders.
Listen to our DBSA Real Recovery Podcast featuring Dr. McInnis on the topic of "Genetics and Bipolar Disorder."
Submit a question for Dr. McInnis to address during the DBSA Ask the Doctor Chat featuring Dr. McInnis on May 28th. Please note, due to time restrictions, Dr. McInnis may not be able to answer all questions submitted, but will make every effort to try to address as many as possible. Thank you for your understanding and your participation!
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/R?i=uA8qWFdoKCVamTjzKXMo9Q
New Peer-Led Roundtables at Conference
You Spoke, We Listened — New Peer-Led Roundtables at Conference
Every year, you tell us that networking and sharing with peers, and learning from each other, are some of the most important benefits of our conferences. With this year’s theme, “The Power of Peers,” what better time to offer you more new ways to do that?
At the 2008 National Conference, we’re excited to offer you Power of Peers Roundtables. In these peer-led, small group discussions, network with peers from around the country, share knowledge and be creative. See what it’s like to have the Power of Peers on your side—the power of new friends, novel solutions and practical tools for a lifetime of wellness!
Every year, you tell us that networking and sharing with peers, and learning from each other, are some of the most important benefits of our conferences. With this year’s theme, “The Power of Peers,” what better time to offer you more new ways to do that?
At the 2008 National Conference, we’re excited to offer you Power of Peers Roundtables. In these peer-led, small group discussions, network with peers from around the country, share knowledge and be creative. See what it’s like to have the Power of Peers on your side—the power of new friends, novel solutions and practical tools for a lifetime of wellness!
Please Help: Mental Health Parity
Mental Health Parity
It's the Moment We've All Been Waiting For
DBSA Supporter, here is the latest Advocacy Alert:
Click here to send a letter NOW!
After seven years and a lot of blood, sweat and tears, victory is finally within reach. We are so close to the enactment of Mental Health Parity, legislation that would end the discrimination in health coverage between mental illness and “physical” illnesses like diabetes or heart disease.
In March, following the Senate’s passage of S. 558, and House passage of H.R. 1424, informal negotiations began to create one, final bill. Now that both bills have been passed in both houses, it would be so easy to take a break or move on to the next issue. But, we can’t! Unfair barriers still exist that continue to block millions of Americans from getting the treatment, they so desperately need.
Send a letter NOW!
Due to the need for Congress to lift those barriers, and a limited number of legislative days to do so, it is crucial that a compromise bill is reached. A bill that both House of Representatives and the Senate can agree on.
Your legislators need to hear from YOU, the voters back home. Please, send letters to all of your legislators NOW. Ask them to work together to reconcile any differences between the two versions of the bill. Ask them to call on their colleagues in the House and Senate to negotiate a strong Mental Health Parity law. Simply put, we can’t wait forever. Mental Health Parity needs to be passed this year.
Click here to Connect and Be Counted!
One Person Can Make a Difference.Remember May is Mental Health Month.
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
730 N. Franklin St., Ste 501Chicago, IL 60610
(800) 826-3632
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/R?i=yoZEGXiXFQTvtrcE_sujhA..
It's the Moment We've All Been Waiting For
DBSA Supporter, here is the latest Advocacy Alert:
Click here to send a letter NOW!
After seven years and a lot of blood, sweat and tears, victory is finally within reach. We are so close to the enactment of Mental Health Parity, legislation that would end the discrimination in health coverage between mental illness and “physical” illnesses like diabetes or heart disease.
In March, following the Senate’s passage of S. 558, and House passage of H.R. 1424, informal negotiations began to create one, final bill. Now that both bills have been passed in both houses, it would be so easy to take a break or move on to the next issue. But, we can’t! Unfair barriers still exist that continue to block millions of Americans from getting the treatment, they so desperately need.
Send a letter NOW!
Due to the need for Congress to lift those barriers, and a limited number of legislative days to do so, it is crucial that a compromise bill is reached. A bill that both House of Representatives and the Senate can agree on.
Your legislators need to hear from YOU, the voters back home. Please, send letters to all of your legislators NOW. Ask them to work together to reconcile any differences between the two versions of the bill. Ask them to call on their colleagues in the House and Senate to negotiate a strong Mental Health Parity law. Simply put, we can’t wait forever. Mental Health Parity needs to be passed this year.
Click here to Connect and Be Counted!
One Person Can Make a Difference.Remember May is Mental Health Month.
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
730 N. Franklin St., Ste 501Chicago, IL 60610
(800) 826-3632
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/R?i=yoZEGXiXFQTvtrcE_sujhA..
Dr. Kay Jamison is keynote at the DBSA 2008 National Conference
DBSA 2008 National Conference
Tap into the "Power of Peers" this September as DBSA presents a conference of compelling educational workshops, pre- and post-conference institutes and an unprecedented lineup of renowned keynote speakers. DBSA offers a unique peer-centered perspective for individuals living with depression or bipolar disorder as well as for family members or health care providers looking for ways to best help their loved-ones, patients or clients by partnering with them on their path to recovery.
JOIN US:September 10-14, 2008Norfolk, Virginia
NEW! Download Preliminary Conference Brochure
EXPERIENCE THE POWER OF …
INSPIRATION… through the unique peer perspectives of an unprecedented lineup of internationally-known KEYNOTE SPEAKERS.
FRIDAYKeynoteP. Deegan, PhD Researcher &Educator
SATURDAYKeynoteK. Jamison, PhD Researcher &Author
SATURDAY Co-KeynoteR. CohenBest-Selling Author
SATURDAYCo-KeynoteLarry FricksEducator &Advocate
KNOWLEDGE… through more than 16 peer-focused EDUCATIONAL SESSIONS led by leading experts, educators, authors and consumer advocates.
SKILLS… through 4 in-depth PRE-CONFERENCE INSTITUTES that offer recovery-based tools and strategies to consumers, veterans, peer specialists and family members.
LAUGHTER… through a special STAND-UP COMEDY NIGHT put on by 8 conference attendees and comedian, counselor, author and founder of Stand Up for Mental Health, David Granirer.
CONNECTION… through the FRIENDS RECEPTION featuring a silent auction as well as readings and book-signing by Richard M. Cohen, author of Strong at the Broken Places, and Larry Fricks.
ENCOURAGEMENT… through SUPPORT GROUPS held during the conference to provide a forum for mutual acceptance and self-discovery.
PEERS… through a conference COMMUNITY where you can connect with old and new friends to network and share stories, wellness tips … and hope.
Tap into the "Power of Peers" this September as DBSA presents a conference of compelling educational workshops, pre- and post-conference institutes and an unprecedented lineup of renowned keynote speakers. DBSA offers a unique peer-centered perspective for individuals living with depression or bipolar disorder as well as for family members or health care providers looking for ways to best help their loved-ones, patients or clients by partnering with them on their path to recovery.
JOIN US:September 10-14, 2008Norfolk, Virginia
NEW! Download Preliminary Conference Brochure
EXPERIENCE THE POWER OF …
INSPIRATION… through the unique peer perspectives of an unprecedented lineup of internationally-known KEYNOTE SPEAKERS.
FRIDAYKeynoteP. Deegan, PhD Researcher &Educator
SATURDAYKeynoteK. Jamison, PhD Researcher &Author
SATURDAY Co-KeynoteR. CohenBest-Selling Author
SATURDAYCo-KeynoteLarry FricksEducator &Advocate
KNOWLEDGE… through more than 16 peer-focused EDUCATIONAL SESSIONS led by leading experts, educators, authors and consumer advocates.
SKILLS… through 4 in-depth PRE-CONFERENCE INSTITUTES that offer recovery-based tools and strategies to consumers, veterans, peer specialists and family members.
LAUGHTER… through a special STAND-UP COMEDY NIGHT put on by 8 conference attendees and comedian, counselor, author and founder of Stand Up for Mental Health, David Granirer.
CONNECTION… through the FRIENDS RECEPTION featuring a silent auction as well as readings and book-signing by Richard M. Cohen, author of Strong at the Broken Places, and Larry Fricks.
ENCOURAGEMENT… through SUPPORT GROUPS held during the conference to provide a forum for mutual acceptance and self-discovery.
PEERS… through a conference COMMUNITY where you can connect with old and new friends to network and share stories, wellness tips … and hope.
NAMI will be on PBS and MTV next week.
I know this is old news but luckily with the internet we have archives.
PBS - DEPRESSION: Out of theShadows
On Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at 9:00 p.m. EDT, PBS will premiere the documentary DEPRESSION: Out of the Shadows, followed by a panel discussion with NAMI medical director Ken Duckworth, M.D., moderated by broadcast journalist Jane Pauley. The program is part of the PBS, "Take One Step" public health campaign in which NAMI is the national outreach partner.
MTV - True Life: I Have Schizophrenia
On Thursday, May 22 at 10 p.m. ET/PT, the MTV cable network will run an episode of True Life: I Have Schizophrenia, part of the award-winning MTV documentary series that explores issues affecting young people. Amber Main, 19, of NAMI Virginia (Hampton-Newport News) will be featured along with two other young people living with schizophrenia. Main was diagnosed last year and is active in NAMI's In Our Own Voice Program. NAMI medical director, Ken Duckworth, M.D., will answer questions on the show's blog following the broadcast.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Nobody Nowhere by Donna Williams
this is "the extraordinary autobiography of an autistic." donna williams may not have been able to communicate "her world" to "the world" through conversation or emotion, but she defintely can write well. from vivid descriptions of her lack or response to being beated by her mother to her incredible views on how she does relates to the world outside and through her different characters are amazing. I found myself at times saying "yes, that is great."
if you know anyone with this horrid disability, or you are just interested like myself who reads these for fun, this is a must read. just don't fall for the old trap that every autistic is the same or even similar. they are as different as u and I. there are low functioning and high functioning. donna is part of the latter.
the only real problem I had was he description of her treatment. if it really was corrected enough so that she can manage it without meds, then I commend her. she's one of the few of which diet changes lowered symptoms.
i've heard autistics referred to as dumb, retarded, or slow, and this book shows contrary. in fact she is unltra-smart. one more ding for mental health awareness and stigma busters. :-D
if you know anyone with this horrid disability, or you are just interested like myself who reads these for fun, this is a must read. just don't fall for the old trap that every autistic is the same or even similar. they are as different as u and I. there are low functioning and high functioning. donna is part of the latter.
the only real problem I had was he description of her treatment. if it really was corrected enough so that she can manage it without meds, then I commend her. she's one of the few of which diet changes lowered symptoms.
i've heard autistics referred to as dumb, retarded, or slow, and this book shows contrary. in fact she is unltra-smart. one more ding for mental health awareness and stigma busters. :-D
Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Persig
when I was in college everyone was ranting about robert persig's book zen and the art of motorcycle maintence. Being and english literature major, I could barely finish the books I had to read let alone something for pleasure. [sidebar: I'm sure that if I had the meds then, I would have been a better reader.]
I finished it finally a couple weeks ago. I'd have to say it is a good book, but being the critic I am, I have to give a fair review.
i'll start by pointing out a few things that irritated me. [WARNING: I'm really good at spoiling plots so excuse me.]
first, the whole referring to himself as the third person. I'd probably be ok if he didn't use that crazy name to do it. I mean comon, the book would have been just as good as if it had been written as though they were memories. It is a memoir right, hell even if it isn't true, itd be better.
Second is the whole basis for this trip is so he can write his "chataqua" and reminice about the time he went mad.
a third (i did say 3 right?), how can someone instantly recover like he does?
I didn't really get too much out of the relationship between the zen of maintence and the "chataqua" either. I'm just such a bastard for being this way about literature, but if there wern't critics, literatre would probably suck.
good things I liked. Did an ok job of describing obsession and demonstrating what can happen when taken too far. Also his expression in the writing is simple and easy to follow, even describing the mind of a far out genius.
Is it worth reading? Yes. Don't let my criticism imply that I didn't like the work. It is a great work.
[note: sorry for the punctuation in this post. I'm trying the new mobile post features. I can't believe how fast these kids type on those phone pads. just do some eavesdropping at the mall. I'm glad I have my treo.]
I finished it finally a couple weeks ago. I'd have to say it is a good book, but being the critic I am, I have to give a fair review.
i'll start by pointing out a few things that irritated me. [WARNING: I'm really good at spoiling plots so excuse me.]
first, the whole referring to himself as the third person. I'd probably be ok if he didn't use that crazy name to do it. I mean comon, the book would have been just as good as if it had been written as though they were memories. It is a memoir right, hell even if it isn't true, itd be better.
Second is the whole basis for this trip is so he can write his "chataqua" and reminice about the time he went mad.
a third (i did say 3 right?), how can someone instantly recover like he does?
I didn't really get too much out of the relationship between the zen of maintence and the "chataqua" either. I'm just such a bastard for being this way about literature, but if there wern't critics, literatre would probably suck.
good things I liked. Did an ok job of describing obsession and demonstrating what can happen when taken too far. Also his expression in the writing is simple and easy to follow, even describing the mind of a far out genius.
Is it worth reading? Yes. Don't let my criticism imply that I didn't like the work. It is a great work.
[note: sorry for the punctuation in this post. I'm trying the new mobile post features. I can't believe how fast these kids type on those phone pads. just do some eavesdropping at the mall. I'm glad I have my treo.]
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The Quiet Room by Lori Schiller and Amanda Bennett
wow. what a vivid vision of the torment and insanity that a person with acute schizophrenia has to go through to stay alive. we begin lori's story when she is in high school at 17 in 1976 and continues through 1989, when her only saving grace, clozapine first became available.
Lori's skill at describing her mind and reaching great depths, into what seems like pure memory, is phenominal. At times I felt as though i was right there beside her and she was telling her story. at other times, i was actually participating in the memory, kinda floating omniciently above the scenes.
But wait! there's more. Lori includes chapters narrated by those who experience the torture with her: her father, mother, two brothers, and sometimes the doctors themselves. This ingenious homogeneiously melds to create not only a scene of being in the shoes but also by adding all the different angles she masterfully extends the scene beyond first person personal narration. I felt like i was there experiencing it while everyone was sharing their versions of the story.
I can't imagine having audible and even visual hallucinations on a constant basis. It's a miracle that those who suffer from this terrible disorder live. It has to be one of the worst. Lori Schiller's story takes bipolar to the extreme by adding these hallucinations and delusions. I believe i've reached the dilusionally insane before, and i have had audible hallucinations from time to time, but i sure as hell didn't have the endless hallucinations that go along with schizophrenia. Typically the insanity with bipolar disorder is cyclical, so mania doesn't last forever, at least not without improper medications. Lori's account of her drug use seems amazingly easy for her to not become addicted. She seems to be able to stop when she wants to or when someone bops her into reality. But her point rings true to show the relationship with obsessive use of self medicating relates to those in the mental disorders family's use of drugs in order to deal with the madness. It seems to be the only way they survive at times. i think i can relate to that as my previous excessive drug and alchol use i can attribute very much to therapy.
I would recommend this book not only to those with interests in mental conditions but even those close by who get caught up in the tornado. Parents, friends, commerads, this, along with Kate Jamison's An Unquiet Mind, is a good "Al-Anon" book for you. It really describes the condition well. Even though it's next to impossible to relate to someone unless you've experienced if first hand, this book will give you tremendous insight. You must read it.
enjoy,
doc
Lori's skill at describing her mind and reaching great depths, into what seems like pure memory, is phenominal. At times I felt as though i was right there beside her and she was telling her story. at other times, i was actually participating in the memory, kinda floating omniciently above the scenes.
But wait! there's more. Lori includes chapters narrated by those who experience the torture with her: her father, mother, two brothers, and sometimes the doctors themselves. This ingenious homogeneiously melds to create not only a scene of being in the shoes but also by adding all the different angles she masterfully extends the scene beyond first person personal narration. I felt like i was there experiencing it while everyone was sharing their versions of the story.
I can't imagine having audible and even visual hallucinations on a constant basis. It's a miracle that those who suffer from this terrible disorder live. It has to be one of the worst. Lori Schiller's story takes bipolar to the extreme by adding these hallucinations and delusions. I believe i've reached the dilusionally insane before, and i have had audible hallucinations from time to time, but i sure as hell didn't have the endless hallucinations that go along with schizophrenia. Typically the insanity with bipolar disorder is cyclical, so mania doesn't last forever, at least not without improper medications. Lori's account of her drug use seems amazingly easy for her to not become addicted. She seems to be able to stop when she wants to or when someone bops her into reality. But her point rings true to show the relationship with obsessive use of self medicating relates to those in the mental disorders family's use of drugs in order to deal with the madness. It seems to be the only way they survive at times. i think i can relate to that as my previous excessive drug and alchol use i can attribute very much to therapy.
I would recommend this book not only to those with interests in mental conditions but even those close by who get caught up in the tornado. Parents, friends, commerads, this, along with Kate Jamison's An Unquiet Mind, is a good "Al-Anon" book for you. It really describes the condition well. Even though it's next to impossible to relate to someone unless you've experienced if first hand, this book will give you tremendous insight. You must read it.
enjoy,
doc
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Oh gee! sometimes i actually forget i have this thing...
I've got some more reviews comin down the line. this time i'm targeting memoirs of mood disorders. I've covered 5 books since i last spoke here. So now it's time to discuss my findings...;)
The Quiet Room by Lori Schiller and Amanda Bennett
Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel
passing for normal by Amy S. Wilensky
Manic by Teri Cheney
A Mind Apart by Suzanne Antonetta
Yes, I Am a Madman! whatever by doc
The Quiet Room by Lori Schiller and Amanda Bennett
Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel
passing for normal by Amy S. Wilensky
Manic by Teri Cheney
A Mind Apart by Suzanne Antonetta
Yes, I Am a Madman! whatever by doc
Friday, February 15, 2008
Photography as Therapy
I have always loved to take pictures. I used to borrow all of my aunts cameras. i've used camera's from very expensive digital professional lines to little 110 spy cameras. I also really liked the kodak disc and the 110 that had great exchangeable lenses. most of my photography was travel and documentary then, however through the years my style has honed in toward the tiny beautiful aspects of our world.
Photography has always been a valuable tool for me as is writing. Going on a photography hike is like taking a walk into a timewarp for me. I can go out into the world without a goal, other than to enjoy and document, and experience total serenity and peace.
It's also a manic dream. I can really get down and focus in on some of the things that God put here that most people never see throught their lives. I have to know, i constantly am looking for the next beautiful thing, and I have yet be disappointed.
I highly recommend this exercise not only for those of us who need therapy, but for everyone. Get out and see God's beauty. You can begin really cheap too. pretty much any camera with the exception of those crappy throw aways, is great. Even the sub $100 35 mm cameras these days are dreams compared to 5 years ago. to use a cliche that really fits this excercise, "It's not the camera, it's the artist." I definitely recommend going digital. Think about not having to buy expensive film ever again. Snap away...
Not only do i enjoy the atmosphere, I always end up getting at least a couple great shots for my gallery. check out some of my art at deviantart http://docscape.deviantart.com/.
Photography has always been a valuable tool for me as is writing. Going on a photography hike is like taking a walk into a timewarp for me. I can go out into the world without a goal, other than to enjoy and document, and experience total serenity and peace.
It's also a manic dream. I can really get down and focus in on some of the things that God put here that most people never see throught their lives. I have to know, i constantly am looking for the next beautiful thing, and I have yet be disappointed.
I highly recommend this exercise not only for those of us who need therapy, but for everyone. Get out and see God's beauty. You can begin really cheap too. pretty much any camera with the exception of those crappy throw aways, is great. Even the sub $100 35 mm cameras these days are dreams compared to 5 years ago. to use a cliche that really fits this excercise, "It's not the camera, it's the artist." I definitely recommend going digital. Think about not having to buy expensive film ever again. Snap away...
Not only do i enjoy the atmosphere, I always end up getting at least a couple great shots for my gallery. check out some of my art at deviantart http://docscape.deviantart.com/.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Why do i help others?
Because i can. Because i think someone could use the things i've learned about my conditions in helping to treat their own. Also helping others really gives me more insight into myself. Everytime i explain my situation, i look at it with a critical and objective eye.
Bipolar disorder, Depression, and Addiction are very serious illnesses if left untreated. However, they are also the most treatable of all the mental illnesses. There is no reason you should have to suffer anymore.
first step is to see a doctor. If you can't afford the medications or the doctor, then you should talk to your local mental health services. the hospital can direct you to the right place. They can help. I know many who have got the help they need there are now lead happy and prosperous lives.
It's unfortunate that many people with these illness don't even realize there is a problem. We just think it's the way it is, or it's all in our head. It is, but if it's serious, it will never go away, and most definitely get worse without treatment. If you feel chronic depression or feel like you're crazy a lot of the time, then by all means get help.
If you know someone with one of these illnesses, or addiction, then you should go easy and explain to them that their behavior is not the "normal" behavior. You sense something seriously wrong. Push them in one of the directions of the many mental illness sites on the internet. I use http://www.dbsalliance.org/ all of the time.
I also use the various AA sites for addiction referrels. Most of them have links to meetings in their area. i know in my area there is http://www.aacentralohio.org/, or http://www.aa.org/ for national referrals. AA is a great place. You might one to go to one yourself even if you don't have an addiction. It can really shed some light on the subject. The AA program is the choice of many of the drug addicts i know. The various other 12 step programs tailored to their addiction, don't have the same fellowship that AA does.
Don't forget there's always http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ for those that have to deal with addicts.
Don't let the stigma of mental illnesses deter you. As more and more people are educated and treated, and start speaking out for others, this stigma is being lifted. It's ok to have a chemical imbalance. Many of us do, you know. Some of us refuse to live in fear and desperation our whole lives and use the resources that are available.
Bipolar disorder, Depression, and Addiction are very serious illnesses if left untreated. However, they are also the most treatable of all the mental illnesses. There is no reason you should have to suffer anymore.
first step is to see a doctor. If you can't afford the medications or the doctor, then you should talk to your local mental health services. the hospital can direct you to the right place. They can help. I know many who have got the help they need there are now lead happy and prosperous lives.
It's unfortunate that many people with these illness don't even realize there is a problem. We just think it's the way it is, or it's all in our head. It is, but if it's serious, it will never go away, and most definitely get worse without treatment. If you feel chronic depression or feel like you're crazy a lot of the time, then by all means get help.
If you know someone with one of these illnesses, or addiction, then you should go easy and explain to them that their behavior is not the "normal" behavior. You sense something seriously wrong. Push them in one of the directions of the many mental illness sites on the internet. I use http://www.dbsalliance.org/ all of the time.
I also use the various AA sites for addiction referrels. Most of them have links to meetings in their area. i know in my area there is http://www.aacentralohio.org/, or http://www.aa.org/ for national referrals. AA is a great place. You might one to go to one yourself even if you don't have an addiction. It can really shed some light on the subject. The AA program is the choice of many of the drug addicts i know. The various other 12 step programs tailored to their addiction, don't have the same fellowship that AA does.
Don't forget there's always http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ for those that have to deal with addicts.
Don't let the stigma of mental illnesses deter you. As more and more people are educated and treated, and start speaking out for others, this stigma is being lifted. It's ok to have a chemical imbalance. Many of us do, you know. Some of us refuse to live in fear and desperation our whole lives and use the resources that are available.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
arrogant manic
we manics believe that we are superhuman. somehow we have tapped into the next phase of human evolution. our minds can far outthink ordinary human minds. we brainstorm faster. we can be more productive. and we have an answer for everything. it even feels like sometimes we communicate telepathically. don't get me wrong, without my meds I can spin out of control, or so it seems to everyone around me. it's like they are in the matrix, and I am neo. sometimes their feeble little minds can be baffling. how can they not figure it out? surely they have to have some sense of their own naivity. anyway, I guess I'm just being arrogant manic.
Helping Someone with Bipolar Disorder or Addiction
This question comes up over and over again. What can we do to help someone, especially when they don't want it. Often times people with bipolar disorder are like those in the grips of a serious addiction and fail to see the trail of disaster they can cause around them, and most of the time, they think you are the one with the problem, not them.
Having been in both positions before; addiction, mania, and the recieving end, I have run up against many different problems like these. Solutions are hard to find. In fact, each situation really requires its own custom tailored solution. Trust me, there is no magic pill. So how can we help these loved ones?
Education about the problem is the most reliable weapon in the fight. Luckily there is lots of help in this arena. Finding someone who knows how to handle the situation is ultimitely the best, however those people are very difficult to find. A good start is AA meetings and bipolar support groups. You can find thousands of these people on line as well in support groups. These people have been there...
If you can't find someone, then you will have to educate yourself, which you should do even if you have help. Good places to start are The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA - http://www.dbsalliance.org/) and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI - http://www.nami.org/) and the National Institutes on Mental Health (NIMH - http://www.nimh.nih.gov/). I get tons of information from these sites that I refer people to to get help. Another site to help understand medications is Crazy Meds (http://www.crazymeds.us/). All of these are great reliable sources of information.
Here are some good things to keep in mind:
1) If the person is in the grips of an attack and you can get them to converse with you, talk to the person normally. Sending the wrong signal like anger, or preachiness can be very counterproductive.
2) Do not think this person is crazy. Remember that they don't really realize what they are doing. In fact they believe they are in the right. It's just sometimes they just don't see beyond themselves.
3) Do not encourage their grandious thoughts. Even though they have great ideas at the time, they will really have a hard time getting any of it accomplished until they come down. Encouraging someone can feed the fire rather than try to talk reason with it.
4) If you are unable to help, get someone who can. Either a friend, fellow addict or bipolar, or if necessary, even 911.
5) Do not take the threat of suicide lightly, and you must let that person know that you will not either. Even though some may use it as a weapon, most who say it, are perfectly capable of it, believe me.
6) Go find someone with the exact condition, but stable, that can help you understand. If you've never experienced this situation before, then you never will fully understand. Don't hesitate to ask. Most people are more than willing to help. In fact in my AA program, we must, it's a valuable tool to helping ourselves. Make sure that the person you enlist is stable though, or you may end up with double trouble.
If you still can't help yourself, then by all means contact me. I'll do what i can to help.
peace.
Having been in both positions before; addiction, mania, and the recieving end, I have run up against many different problems like these. Solutions are hard to find. In fact, each situation really requires its own custom tailored solution. Trust me, there is no magic pill. So how can we help these loved ones?
Education about the problem is the most reliable weapon in the fight. Luckily there is lots of help in this arena. Finding someone who knows how to handle the situation is ultimitely the best, however those people are very difficult to find. A good start is AA meetings and bipolar support groups. You can find thousands of these people on line as well in support groups. These people have been there...
If you can't find someone, then you will have to educate yourself, which you should do even if you have help. Good places to start are The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA - http://www.dbsalliance.org/) and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI - http://www.nami.org/) and the National Institutes on Mental Health (NIMH - http://www.nimh.nih.gov/). I get tons of information from these sites that I refer people to to get help. Another site to help understand medications is Crazy Meds (http://www.crazymeds.us/). All of these are great reliable sources of information.
Here are some good things to keep in mind:
1) If the person is in the grips of an attack and you can get them to converse with you, talk to the person normally. Sending the wrong signal like anger, or preachiness can be very counterproductive.
2) Do not think this person is crazy. Remember that they don't really realize what they are doing. In fact they believe they are in the right. It's just sometimes they just don't see beyond themselves.
3) Do not encourage their grandious thoughts. Even though they have great ideas at the time, they will really have a hard time getting any of it accomplished until they come down. Encouraging someone can feed the fire rather than try to talk reason with it.
4) If you are unable to help, get someone who can. Either a friend, fellow addict or bipolar, or if necessary, even 911.
5) Do not take the threat of suicide lightly, and you must let that person know that you will not either. Even though some may use it as a weapon, most who say it, are perfectly capable of it, believe me.
6) Go find someone with the exact condition, but stable, that can help you understand. If you've never experienced this situation before, then you never will fully understand. Don't hesitate to ask. Most people are more than willing to help. In fact in my AA program, we must, it's a valuable tool to helping ourselves. Make sure that the person you enlist is stable though, or you may end up with double trouble.
If you still can't help yourself, then by all means contact me. I'll do what i can to help.
peace.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
On living unmedicated and miserable...
Through my one of the members of the peer support group i started back in Nov of 2006, I learned of this poor girl who had to live her life, constantly in fear of society and the world, and feeling suicidal at times. Unfortunately, she is being unproperly medicated, and suffering needlessly, by one of those sub par doctors. There's tons of them. And being uneducated about your bipolar condition and not knowing that your doctor is shitty, sucks. I've been there before.
Not only have i seen my share of poorly treated patients, I too have been victim of extreme Mania and Depression, and not knowing that anything is wrong. I've tried cutting, burning, and strangulation before and luckily for me and everyone else who loved me, I didn't succeed. Actually, I never tried, I was only experimenting. That's what my clouded mind told me those days.
On the Mania side, I've acted out certain fantasies, like working for the Department of Homeland Security, aiding to search out hidden terrorism plots in our own country. Of course i didn't go out and shoot anyone, nor could I have, at least with out a lends attached to the front of it. I was a photographer. A photojournalist, really. I was diligently documenting vulnerabilities using my camera and voice recorder. Besides realistically, it was a good deal for everyone.
This girl was being treated with only Lithium. Lithium is probably the single best medications for treating serious mood swings, but it's only a stabilizer. Although, we all have different chemistries and certain meds work better for some than others, the simple fact remains that this girl was stabilized at an ultra low level. That low is Hell, literally.
Sucessful treatments consistantly show that bipolar disorder is treated with a variety of chemicals. Typically this regimine consists of at least a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant, but some stabilize the other way and the antideperssant triggers the other side of the swings, Mania. Mania, can be not only heaven, but terrifying as much as the Depression.
Now i'm not a psychiatrist, even though sometimes it seems i know more, when you get a family doctor or counseler without the proper medical training on the medical aspects brain chemistry prescribing meds. I've read my share of literature, deal with my share of patients, and participate in a several support groups other than mine. I'm sure that with the addition of an antidepressant this girl would have to suffer no longer, and could be free to live the beautiful life that a successful treatment affords.
Being bipolar is a wonderful thing, as long as we can keep those extremes down. Some of us even feel as though it gives us an edge on everyone else in the world. Let's face it, we think faster than others.
Peace out, my brothers and sisters...L8tr
Not only have i seen my share of poorly treated patients, I too have been victim of extreme Mania and Depression, and not knowing that anything is wrong. I've tried cutting, burning, and strangulation before and luckily for me and everyone else who loved me, I didn't succeed. Actually, I never tried, I was only experimenting. That's what my clouded mind told me those days.
On the Mania side, I've acted out certain fantasies, like working for the Department of Homeland Security, aiding to search out hidden terrorism plots in our own country. Of course i didn't go out and shoot anyone, nor could I have, at least with out a lends attached to the front of it. I was a photographer. A photojournalist, really. I was diligently documenting vulnerabilities using my camera and voice recorder. Besides realistically, it was a good deal for everyone.
This girl was being treated with only Lithium. Lithium is probably the single best medications for treating serious mood swings, but it's only a stabilizer. Although, we all have different chemistries and certain meds work better for some than others, the simple fact remains that this girl was stabilized at an ultra low level. That low is Hell, literally.
Sucessful treatments consistantly show that bipolar disorder is treated with a variety of chemicals. Typically this regimine consists of at least a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant, but some stabilize the other way and the antideperssant triggers the other side of the swings, Mania. Mania, can be not only heaven, but terrifying as much as the Depression.
Now i'm not a psychiatrist, even though sometimes it seems i know more, when you get a family doctor or counseler without the proper medical training on the medical aspects brain chemistry prescribing meds. I've read my share of literature, deal with my share of patients, and participate in a several support groups other than mine. I'm sure that with the addition of an antidepressant this girl would have to suffer no longer, and could be free to live the beautiful life that a successful treatment affords.
Being bipolar is a wonderful thing, as long as we can keep those extremes down. Some of us even feel as though it gives us an edge on everyone else in the world. Let's face it, we think faster than others.
Peace out, my brothers and sisters...L8tr
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Cool Photography Jaunt.
This grave yard was incredible. a friend and i shot 212 photos in less than an hour. check it out at my picasa web album site. http://picasaweb.google.com/docscape/WernerSAutoGraveyardJanuary2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Mood Swings
Being aware of my bipolar disorder, or condition as i prefer to call it, has helped tremendously with my understanding of why i seem to get naturally high sometimes, then feel like death is the only solution others. At least i can put a name on it. I can also use it as a basis for relating to others who experience similar mood swings. these relationships form the basis for the majority of my psychotherapy. however without the meds, i couldn't relate to anything or anyone, since my head would be so clouded that i couldn't concentrate for any length of time necessary for understanding.
If you've ever experienced hypomania, and many have at some point in their lives, you know how good it can make you feel. When i get it, not only do i feel good, I feel like i can take on the world. It's really addictive and can be one wild rush, until someone tries to take it from you. Then you just get pissed off. When manic, I need to be left alone, often with my journals or camera. If i don't get what i think i need at the moment, I become incredibly violent towards everything that comes between me and my desires. It's at this point when the mania can become dangerous, damaging friendships, relations with family members, and even society as a whole. If left untreated, it can literally drive me insane, even to the point of being delusional. Often times i'm totally unaware that I'm acting any different than "normal," until someone lets me know it.
Manic people often choose mania over "normalcy," by not taking their mood stabilizers. this can be very dangerous. most mood stabilizers require a certain constant level in the blood in order to work correctly. it can take days to get to that level, and simply missing a dose or only taking a portion of it can disrupt this level. It can be very unpredictable what happens when this level goes down. The person is used having a certain level of stability, and when this mood stabilizer fails to work properly, they can get "high" beyond recognition. They feel awsome, and like most addicts could care less about the consequences of their actions.
Another consequence of a low mood stabilizer level is the inevitable fall. Bipolar condition is characterized by mania followed by depression, and back to mania and so forth in waves. The higher the up, the lower the corresponding low. It's at this time when depression can be incredibly dangerous. since mood stabilizers act by leveling out the waves, a lower level can cause extreme fluctuations in moods. while the high may be addictive and "fun" most fail to realize that it will have to have that low in order to balance out.
For a bipolar person, these swings can literally be hell sometimes. i know if i ever run out of meds, it usually only takes a few hours before i start feeling the effects of it. without my anti-depressants, i begin to feel like i'm tripping. I've seen paint melt on the wall, and also tend to ignore anyone who speaks to me. I begin to sleep all the time, and it can be horrible on all those who have to deal with me. without the mood stabilizers, i have the ups first. if i have plenty of anti-depressants in me, then i can remain high indefinitely. then lows are usually triggered by interruptions in my "needs." it can seem like the end of the world.
last november i ran out of all medications. i was jobless at the time and couldn't afford to buy any more. about a week later, the side effects were tremendous. not only did i have extreme swings, I couldn't concentrate on anything. i had conducted the worst interview of my career. I couldn't answer any questions and could only draw stick figures on the white board which only vaguely represented my knowledge. in fact one of the interviewers even walked out of the room. i was sweating and shaking the whole time. all i could do was apologise.
during that same time, i was also having panic attacks at night. i couldn't sleep and felt like i couldn't breathe. In fact i couldn't breathe. a deep breath was impossible. it got so bad at times i almost called the emergency line. one morning i actually drove myself to the urgent care. i was ready then to commit myself to a hospital until i could get things straightened back out. I literally felt like i was going to die.
both of these episodes are called panic attacks. nothing can be done when they occur, accept get the meds and professional help. don't hesitate to call anyone, especially if you feel like you may injure yourself or others. it is these extreme highs and lows when we can be most vulnerable to psychotic episodes. with proper therapy and medication, all bipolar people can be helped. make sure you educate yourself as to your condition, and you absolutely must get a competant psychiatrist who knows how to handle bipolar disorder. some doctors prescribe the wrong medications, which can actually make the situation worse. this happened to me before i met my last doc. i didn't realize anything was wrong, but the doc was diagnosing me as depressed and prescribing the highest doses of zoloft and cymbalta without any mood stabilizer at all. i was in constant utter delusional mania. once i started learning about bipolar disorder, i began to realize that was my symptoms by the book, he ignored everything i told him and refused to help me. so i fired him. don't let this happen to you.
i run a small peer support group in my home town for mental health conditions. i feel it as part of my mission to assist those with these problems so they can avoid many of the situations i had to face. i'm constantly learning about bipolar disorder and how to treat it. i've been told by some that i should seriously think about turning it into a career. i've really grown to enjoy helping others with problems similar to my own. perhaps someday, i will persue that path...
If you've ever experienced hypomania, and many have at some point in their lives, you know how good it can make you feel. When i get it, not only do i feel good, I feel like i can take on the world. It's really addictive and can be one wild rush, until someone tries to take it from you. Then you just get pissed off. When manic, I need to be left alone, often with my journals or camera. If i don't get what i think i need at the moment, I become incredibly violent towards everything that comes between me and my desires. It's at this point when the mania can become dangerous, damaging friendships, relations with family members, and even society as a whole. If left untreated, it can literally drive me insane, even to the point of being delusional. Often times i'm totally unaware that I'm acting any different than "normal," until someone lets me know it.
Manic people often choose mania over "normalcy," by not taking their mood stabilizers. this can be very dangerous. most mood stabilizers require a certain constant level in the blood in order to work correctly. it can take days to get to that level, and simply missing a dose or only taking a portion of it can disrupt this level. It can be very unpredictable what happens when this level goes down. The person is used having a certain level of stability, and when this mood stabilizer fails to work properly, they can get "high" beyond recognition. They feel awsome, and like most addicts could care less about the consequences of their actions.
Another consequence of a low mood stabilizer level is the inevitable fall. Bipolar condition is characterized by mania followed by depression, and back to mania and so forth in waves. The higher the up, the lower the corresponding low. It's at this time when depression can be incredibly dangerous. since mood stabilizers act by leveling out the waves, a lower level can cause extreme fluctuations in moods. while the high may be addictive and "fun" most fail to realize that it will have to have that low in order to balance out.
For a bipolar person, these swings can literally be hell sometimes. i know if i ever run out of meds, it usually only takes a few hours before i start feeling the effects of it. without my anti-depressants, i begin to feel like i'm tripping. I've seen paint melt on the wall, and also tend to ignore anyone who speaks to me. I begin to sleep all the time, and it can be horrible on all those who have to deal with me. without the mood stabilizers, i have the ups first. if i have plenty of anti-depressants in me, then i can remain high indefinitely. then lows are usually triggered by interruptions in my "needs." it can seem like the end of the world.
last november i ran out of all medications. i was jobless at the time and couldn't afford to buy any more. about a week later, the side effects were tremendous. not only did i have extreme swings, I couldn't concentrate on anything. i had conducted the worst interview of my career. I couldn't answer any questions and could only draw stick figures on the white board which only vaguely represented my knowledge. in fact one of the interviewers even walked out of the room. i was sweating and shaking the whole time. all i could do was apologise.
during that same time, i was also having panic attacks at night. i couldn't sleep and felt like i couldn't breathe. In fact i couldn't breathe. a deep breath was impossible. it got so bad at times i almost called the emergency line. one morning i actually drove myself to the urgent care. i was ready then to commit myself to a hospital until i could get things straightened back out. I literally felt like i was going to die.
both of these episodes are called panic attacks. nothing can be done when they occur, accept get the meds and professional help. don't hesitate to call anyone, especially if you feel like you may injure yourself or others. it is these extreme highs and lows when we can be most vulnerable to psychotic episodes. with proper therapy and medication, all bipolar people can be helped. make sure you educate yourself as to your condition, and you absolutely must get a competant psychiatrist who knows how to handle bipolar disorder. some doctors prescribe the wrong medications, which can actually make the situation worse. this happened to me before i met my last doc. i didn't realize anything was wrong, but the doc was diagnosing me as depressed and prescribing the highest doses of zoloft and cymbalta without any mood stabilizer at all. i was in constant utter delusional mania. once i started learning about bipolar disorder, i began to realize that was my symptoms by the book, he ignored everything i told him and refused to help me. so i fired him. don't let this happen to you.
i run a small peer support group in my home town for mental health conditions. i feel it as part of my mission to assist those with these problems so they can avoid many of the situations i had to face. i'm constantly learning about bipolar disorder and how to treat it. i've been told by some that i should seriously think about turning it into a career. i've really grown to enjoy helping others with problems similar to my own. perhaps someday, i will persue that path...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
This blog Thing.
i have to admit, i enjoy the blog thing alot. it's now giving me a place to tie together my art that seems to be spread about the internet in literally a thousand places. really. search google for "docscape."
So my topics here are: music, software development, photography, and miscellaneous others. You can find links to my professional software developer profile on LinkedIn. [link on the sidebar.] and i have two photography sites at the moment. DeviantArt and Picasa. Picasa is a more general posting of my prizes, whereas DA is more professional, and you can buy my shit there too!!! While at this time i don't have a site for music, i use this one to post my thoughts on the good stuff in my collection.
I'm continuing to develop those photography sites as fast as this site, so if you haven't yet, you should check those sites out, especially the DA site!!! go buy some art by yours truly. there's some cool stuff... i've managed to sell a small print from the local gallery here where i currently have 30 pieces on display, and i won an international contest, First Place, for the Recovery contest for the Depression and Bipolar Suppurt Alliance last October. i'm having a ball with it...
So my topics here are: music, software development, photography, and miscellaneous others. You can find links to my professional software developer profile on LinkedIn. [link on the sidebar.] and i have two photography sites at the moment. DeviantArt and Picasa. Picasa is a more general posting of my prizes, whereas DA is more professional, and you can buy my shit there too!!! While at this time i don't have a site for music, i use this one to post my thoughts on the good stuff in my collection.
I'm continuing to develop those photography sites as fast as this site, so if you haven't yet, you should check those sites out, especially the DA site!!! go buy some art by yours truly. there's some cool stuff... i've managed to sell a small print from the local gallery here where i currently have 30 pieces on display, and i won an international contest, First Place, for the Recovery contest for the Depression and Bipolar Suppurt Alliance last October. i'm having a ball with it...
The Polyphonic Spree
it seems like everytime i write one of these blogs, I fuck something up. so fuck you if if you care, it's just thoughts. it's how my mind works. yes, I too critique my writing, and I have afterthoughts as well, and i sometimes realize i was wrong. like the brmc post. after i spent more time with all the albums, i think I like them all. but, howl is still my least favorite. end of story there...
i probably didn't explain what it takes to be a sr tech lead either, but who cares. if you really read this blog, then say, "I." that's what i thought. i'm sure like everything else in my bipolar world, and as my brother kip used to say, "i'll catch ya on the flip side." besides i still think my writing on the Cocteau Twins was right on, but even it too could use an encore visit with more detail. then again, maybe i'm just a perfectionist. after all what i'm just trying to do is give you a taste of my world. i think it's fascinating. do you?
So this one is about this marvelous band called The Polyphonic Spree...
When i first heard Tim Delaughter's Tripping Daisy, i was astonished. i believe it was somewhere around 1995. The album was I Am An Elastic Firecracker. at first i was swept away by the roaring guitars, then tim's voice really reminded me of Perry Ferrell, and my mind thought of Jane's when they hit me back in 1991. but it's not jane's, it's different, more raw crude. Very thick and laiden with treasures. That album continues to sweep me away to this day as does jane's of course. you should listen to all of them...
When Jesus Hits Like The Atom Bomb hit town, i was a little disappointed at first, but like i always give a chance. further listens again brought on new meanings in tim's compositions. this album was more cohesive toward the concept album. brilliant in my mind, body, and soul.
Then came the last self titled TD album. again, i was stunned by the concept album thing, and was intrigued by the new sounds they were picking up.
it was right about the same time when the first The Polyphonic Spree album surfaced. This was the remaining members of tripping daisy, after the tragic death of their band member and lead guitarist Wes Berggren in 1999. In fact, according to the wiki, wes' father played piano on the final Tripping Daisy song "Soothing Jubilee.
the spree's sound was very reminiscent of the final TD album. very symphonic. even more so. I guess he had something like 23 members in the band at that time. tim has been noted as labeling it "choral symphonic rock." i'd have to agree. it's was amazing.
then after that i for some reason forgot that the spree might still be a thing for another ten years. finally now, i think i've heard it all. while it sounds to me like many of the spree's LPs sound similar at first, like everything else with time, you see more uniqueness. I'd have to say, that tim is quite the genius. i've always thought that ever since the jesus album. he continues to blow me away!
you must listen to this music... thanks, tim. let us not forget your brilliant band and choir as well. also long live wes.
like after every concert, [applause...]
i probably didn't explain what it takes to be a sr tech lead either, but who cares. if you really read this blog, then say, "I." that's what i thought. i'm sure like everything else in my bipolar world, and as my brother kip used to say, "i'll catch ya on the flip side." besides i still think my writing on the Cocteau Twins was right on, but even it too could use an encore visit with more detail. then again, maybe i'm just a perfectionist. after all what i'm just trying to do is give you a taste of my world. i think it's fascinating. do you?
So this one is about this marvelous band called The Polyphonic Spree...
When i first heard Tim Delaughter's Tripping Daisy, i was astonished. i believe it was somewhere around 1995. The album was I Am An Elastic Firecracker. at first i was swept away by the roaring guitars, then tim's voice really reminded me of Perry Ferrell, and my mind thought of Jane's when they hit me back in 1991. but it's not jane's, it's different, more raw crude. Very thick and laiden with treasures. That album continues to sweep me away to this day as does jane's of course. you should listen to all of them...
When Jesus Hits Like The Atom Bomb hit town, i was a little disappointed at first, but like i always give a chance. further listens again brought on new meanings in tim's compositions. this album was more cohesive toward the concept album. brilliant in my mind, body, and soul.
Then came the last self titled TD album. again, i was stunned by the concept album thing, and was intrigued by the new sounds they were picking up.
it was right about the same time when the first The Polyphonic Spree album surfaced. This was the remaining members of tripping daisy, after the tragic death of their band member and lead guitarist Wes Berggren in 1999. In fact, according to the wiki, wes' father played piano on the final Tripping Daisy song "Soothing Jubilee.
the spree's sound was very reminiscent of the final TD album. very symphonic. even more so. I guess he had something like 23 members in the band at that time. tim has been noted as labeling it "choral symphonic rock." i'd have to agree. it's was amazing.
then after that i for some reason forgot that the spree might still be a thing for another ten years. finally now, i think i've heard it all. while it sounds to me like many of the spree's LPs sound similar at first, like everything else with time, you see more uniqueness. I'd have to say, that tim is quite the genius. i've always thought that ever since the jesus album. he continues to blow me away!
you must listen to this music... thanks, tim. let us not forget your brilliant band and choir as well. also long live wes.
like after every concert, [applause...]
Saturday, January 12, 2008
My New Job: Sr Tech Lead
The past year has been hell. Really, it's been the past few years, but this last was definitely a climax. I hope. It's a long story and I'm not going to start in on that.
However things are starting to look up. After being in a stagnant company for the past two years, then getting laid off, I'm about to get an offer with this really cool consulting company here in Columbus. I've spoken with them in the past out this position and did a little contract work for them before the last job. Now we've been talking again and it looks like they want me full time this time.
The position they need to fill is for Senior Technial Lead. I'd be utilizing all of my past design and development skills to put together teams for whole software projects. It sounds fascinating to me and should be the next logical step in my career as a Software Engineer. This company is also in well on all the newest software technologies, which is a far cry from the last one. It literally took years to get a new piece of software to be introduced into the system due to beurocratic limitations. Government work, trust me, is not the place if you want to keep your career moving forward. I feel a little aged having been in that environment for so long, but that's all about to change. Once again i'll be back at the forefront. Keeping up with technology instead of government.
I will still be developing software with this position. I made it clear that i didn't want to lose that. I will be taking on the root of the problems. Then i will have to design a flexible system that can be developed using the Agile paradigm. Agile stresses fast interative deliverables and open architecture that can be changed midway through development if necessary. This is challenging. It takes years of seeing these systems in action in order to be able to design one from scratch. That's why it requires a senior level developer.
These systems must be able to be broken down into tiny deliverables which can be delivered to the client immediately as they are completed. Systems like this require and lend easily to constant client interaction, since they have sometimes weekly deliverables. Rather than setting up an entire project plan from the beginning and knowing everything up front, Agile systems lay down the milestones, rank them, then develop them without having to know all requirements up front. Project velocity is measured in deliverables rather than milestones. Many deliverables creates many check points. Each deliverable must have demonstrable functionality. Since the system must be developed with all of this in mind, it must be able to accept changes midstream if problems or requirements change.
However things are starting to look up. After being in a stagnant company for the past two years, then getting laid off, I'm about to get an offer with this really cool consulting company here in Columbus. I've spoken with them in the past out this position and did a little contract work for them before the last job. Now we've been talking again and it looks like they want me full time this time.
The position they need to fill is for Senior Technial Lead. I'd be utilizing all of my past design and development skills to put together teams for whole software projects. It sounds fascinating to me and should be the next logical step in my career as a Software Engineer. This company is also in well on all the newest software technologies, which is a far cry from the last one. It literally took years to get a new piece of software to be introduced into the system due to beurocratic limitations. Government work, trust me, is not the place if you want to keep your career moving forward. I feel a little aged having been in that environment for so long, but that's all about to change. Once again i'll be back at the forefront. Keeping up with technology instead of government.
I will still be developing software with this position. I made it clear that i didn't want to lose that. I will be taking on the root of the problems. Then i will have to design a flexible system that can be developed using the Agile paradigm. Agile stresses fast interative deliverables and open architecture that can be changed midway through development if necessary. This is challenging. It takes years of seeing these systems in action in order to be able to design one from scratch. That's why it requires a senior level developer.
These systems must be able to be broken down into tiny deliverables which can be delivered to the client immediately as they are completed. Systems like this require and lend easily to constant client interaction, since they have sometimes weekly deliverables. Rather than setting up an entire project plan from the beginning and knowing everything up front, Agile systems lay down the milestones, rank them, then develop them without having to know all requirements up front. Project velocity is measured in deliverables rather than milestones. Many deliverables creates many check points. Each deliverable must have demonstrable functionality. Since the system must be developed with all of this in mind, it must be able to accept changes midstream if problems or requirements change.
Friday, January 11, 2008
The Cocteau Twins
There's little more that compares with this magnificent band. Ever since i first heard Heaven or Las Vegas in 1990 (which many fans might consider a sell out album for it's popularity), I've been in love with this band. I have collected every LP, EP, and live recording I could get my hands on. I even spent the $60 bucks in 1995 on the box set.
Not only is their music incredibly relaxing through the etherial guitars of Robin Gutherie, and the beautiful unique voice of Elizabeth Frazier, it can be incredibly haunting both lyrically and music wise. It can also be extremely mysterious at times through Liz' poetry. I used to think that she spoke only in Galic, but since i've listened to the music for so long, coupled with the volumnuous internet, i've been able to decipher much of what she talks about as well.
You must at least look into this band. I'd recommend Four-Calendar Cafe for beginners and Victorialand for my favorite. Remember not to judge too quickly on the first listen, but give the music a few listens until you dismiss it as something that you don't like. It continues to be one of the most incredible bands I've ever heard.
Not only is their music incredibly relaxing through the etherial guitars of Robin Gutherie, and the beautiful unique voice of Elizabeth Frazier, it can be incredibly haunting both lyrically and music wise. It can also be extremely mysterious at times through Liz' poetry. I used to think that she spoke only in Galic, but since i've listened to the music for so long, coupled with the volumnuous internet, i've been able to decipher much of what she talks about as well.
You must at least look into this band. I'd recommend Four-Calendar Cafe for beginners and Victorialand for my favorite. Remember not to judge too quickly on the first listen, but give the music a few listens until you dismiss it as something that you don't like. It continues to be one of the most incredible bands I've ever heard.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - American X Baby 81 Sessions 2nd Listen
There's no doubting that the self-titled BRMC and Take Them On Your Own albums were both kick ass. I lost a little faith on Howl, however my appreciation grew for it over time. And Baby 81 rocks. And add this EP to it and you just augment rockdom, although I'm glad they didn't try to fit these tracks into Baby. You have to take the slow songs with some salt, as that seems to be one of their trademark sounds along with their depressed moods. My first listen was just in passing and I just remember it was good overall. Here are the results of my second listen:
>The Likes Of You - I could've done without it on this listen. I didn't get into it. The beat just keeps going...
>Vision - good track. a little too slow in my opinion, but good none-the-less.
>Show's About To Begin - great groove. I dig it.
>MK Ultra - awsome! "we are the ones that get you high."
>Whenever You're Ready - such a suave song. "come and get me, darling"
>20 Hours - BRMC Does the Cure. It's OK.
>Last Chance For Love - That's a different sound...
Now I have to go listen to Baby 81 again... peace
>The Likes Of You - I could've done without it on this listen. I didn't get into it. The beat just keeps going...
>Vision - good track. a little too slow in my opinion, but good none-the-less.
>Show's About To Begin - great groove. I dig it.
>MK Ultra - awsome! "we are the ones that get you high."
>Whenever You're Ready - such a suave song. "come and get me, darling"
>20 Hours - BRMC Does the Cure. It's OK.
>Last Chance For Love - That's a different sound...
Now I have to go listen to Baby 81 again... peace
Monday, January 07, 2008
Underworld - Oblivion With Bells
Loved it the first time. Really dug it the second. This new Underworld rocks. Like most of their albums, it's different. They haven't lost their touch with what good quality techno is. More vocals on this than in the past. So far i haven't heard a bad song on the album. I'll have to hit you back if i think there's a dud on Oblivion With Bells.
Monster Magnet - 4-Way Diablo First Listen
Well, at first listen the new Monster Magnet 4-Way Diablo is not up to my par. Don't get me wrong, it seems like Monster Magnet, soundwise, but it still lacks the power of Spine of God. Like most bands it's hard to replicate the success of another album. I'll have to give it another listen and see how it strikes me. I never say die until i've heard something 3 times. Unless of course, it is absolutly Britney Spears from the start. Even then i may have to try it again just to make sure i wasn't in a bad mood. i'll have to check back with you later after i've heard it again as to my further review...
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Here we go again...
OK. i'm tired of having to enter stuff into so many sites. i'm going to use this site as purely blog stuff. don't forget to check out my art at http://docscape.deviantart.com/, my fun site at http://www.myspace.com/docscape, and my professional site at http://www.linkedin.com/profile?viewProfile=&key=15651195.
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